Hello world.
I'm not sure exactly what to say or where to begin.
I really thought 2013 would be "my" year. Don't get me wrong. Tons of wonderful things happened this year: In January, my beautiful, amazing son joined my family (although the labor process lasted longer than I may have liked...ugh!). In February, we were able to send Samantha (sister-in-law) on a mission, and I am sure her sacrifice has blessed our life tremendously. For the in-law's anniversary in March, the family rented the church cabin for a couple of nights. Although baby boy didn't allow me to get too much sleep, it was a fun time. I went back to work part time in April. This time, I was able to work 2 of my 5 days from home, which was an amazing blessing! During the summer, we went on several family trips that were some great memories. To name a few - Lake Mary, White Mountains, Lake Powell, and Grand Canyon. We bought a new home and closed at the end of August. Now our children have their own rooms AND a playroom for all of their toys. I feel blessed to be able to keep things more organized. As my dad would say, it is nice to be able to breathe! In September, I was able to quit my job to become a stay-at-home mom. I know this option isn't for everyone, but I am really loving it. Also, we were able to welcome home my nephew from his mission with a (quick) trip up to see him in Utah. And now, October, my husband has been able to quit his 2nd job and focus all his energy and time on our (his) business and spending time with the family. I have really enjoyed having him home more often. We've done a lot more fun, simple things together as a family during the evenings when he'd previously have been at work.
So, I guess it has been "my" year. But I thought that "my" year would mean that I would finally be able to spend time on myself and get into shape. I've never been in any kind of shape except round so I can't say "get back into shape." Even when I was active in sports, I was always bigger than the other kids and my stamina wasn't as good. And, I was never a runner - something I have often wished I could learn to do and love. So, I thought after I had my son, I would be able to lose the baby weight (which I did, YAY!) and then continue dropping pounds until I was in a happier place. A few times during the year, I would focus on eating better than I normally would, never any sort of plan, so luckily, I haven't gained weight this year. Ok, maybe a few pounds found their way back recently, but we won't talk about them.
Well, here it is, nearing the end of October, and I feel like I am FINALLY ready to start and stick to an exercise program/diet. Great, right? Just in time for the holidays and all the decadent, delicious foods! So, maybe I will be setting myself up for failure, but at least I am trying! I guess I wanted to write this to see if maybe I could get some ideas/tips and motivation/help from anyone and everyone who may read this!
Here goes nothing.... (c=
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
equality...
I think this post might infuriate many. And I don't mean it to. So I apologize if it does. But there has been a lot online today about equal rights and getting closer to them etc etc. And I call BS!
I don't agree with gay marriage. I believe that "marriage" is a union between a man and a woman who love each other and have a desire to create a family together to be born in a loving home. Their children deserve to have both a male and a female perspective on life. Daughters deserve to have a mother to look up to and a father to hug and hold them and protect them from as much of the world as is healthy and as they are able to. Sons deserve to have a father to call their "hero" and a mother to care for them, love them unconditionally, so that they can learn to grow and appreciate women. Wives deserve to have husbands to protect them and provide for them, emotionally, spiritually, and monetarily. They deserve to have a male's voice of reason and simplicity when they are busy multi-tasking. They deserve to have support. Husbands deserve to have wives to love them and care for them and to help provide their missing emotional, spiritual, and monetary needs. They deserve to have a wife help them think of others while they are busy being involved in their own life.
I know, I know, this is very "stereotypical" and I may seem "old-fashioned" and "close-minded." Fine. Call me all those things.
That all being said, I do acknowledge that each person has their free agency to choose for themselves who they love and who they want to be partners with. You can look online for gays who oppose gay marriage and see a lot of different opinions, but I like this one the best. He summarizes my views better than I can. http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2013/03/9432/.
So what does this all have to do with my equality BS? Society believes that people are not made to be equal. I honestly believe that no person is better than anyone else. However, we see this each day. Adults are always asking other adults, "Where did you go to college?" or "What degree are you getting/did you get?" or "What is your position at your job?" which is suggesting that there is a ladder where one person is higher than another. Celebrities and other entertainers make far more money than educators who feed their brains and farmers who feed their sculpted bodies. And because there are rich people and poor people, prestigious jobs and "blue collar" jobs, there will NEVER be equality.
People don't want equality. And I'd argue that those who are requesting equality in marriage are those who would oppose equality in the true sense of the word the most. You have a home to live in, a family who you love and who loves and supports you, and food to eat. That person you passed on the corner has a sign that says "anything helps" and yet you drive past without a second glance (or even a first one for many) because you are better than them. You've worked hard for what you have and you don't want to give it up. But you never know. Maybe that person worked hard for what they had and then lost it all. It does happen. Sometimes, it happens that poor people are poor because they aren't willing to work or whatever, but sometimes it happens because they were dealt a harder hand in life than others were. Equality, true equality, would mean that you share everything with everyone. Doctors, celebrities, professional athletes, farmers, educators, janitors, service men/women, and those in the food service industry would be paid the same per hour because even though their work is different, they all work hard at what they do. And people don't want that.
Stop crying "equality" if you don't really want "equality." You think you are superior to me because you have a higher education than me and make more money than my husband and I and our 3 jobs put together. You think we are religious nuts which makes us uneducated (even though we both have BS degrees) because we hold to our religious traditions and values even when we believe you have the right to worship your god (no matter what form it comes in-money, prestige, deity-, or no god for that matter) and don't think you are crazy for it. And because you think you are superior to me, you will NEVER see us as equals. Equality? I say "BS!"
I don't agree with gay marriage. I believe that "marriage" is a union between a man and a woman who love each other and have a desire to create a family together to be born in a loving home. Their children deserve to have both a male and a female perspective on life. Daughters deserve to have a mother to look up to and a father to hug and hold them and protect them from as much of the world as is healthy and as they are able to. Sons deserve to have a father to call their "hero" and a mother to care for them, love them unconditionally, so that they can learn to grow and appreciate women. Wives deserve to have husbands to protect them and provide for them, emotionally, spiritually, and monetarily. They deserve to have a male's voice of reason and simplicity when they are busy multi-tasking. They deserve to have support. Husbands deserve to have wives to love them and care for them and to help provide their missing emotional, spiritual, and monetary needs. They deserve to have a wife help them think of others while they are busy being involved in their own life.
I know, I know, this is very "stereotypical" and I may seem "old-fashioned" and "close-minded." Fine. Call me all those things.
That all being said, I do acknowledge that each person has their free agency to choose for themselves who they love and who they want to be partners with. You can look online for gays who oppose gay marriage and see a lot of different opinions, but I like this one the best. He summarizes my views better than I can. http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2013/03/9432/.
So what does this all have to do with my equality BS? Society believes that people are not made to be equal. I honestly believe that no person is better than anyone else. However, we see this each day. Adults are always asking other adults, "Where did you go to college?" or "What degree are you getting/did you get?" or "What is your position at your job?" which is suggesting that there is a ladder where one person is higher than another. Celebrities and other entertainers make far more money than educators who feed their brains and farmers who feed their sculpted bodies. And because there are rich people and poor people, prestigious jobs and "blue collar" jobs, there will NEVER be equality.
People don't want equality. And I'd argue that those who are requesting equality in marriage are those who would oppose equality in the true sense of the word the most. You have a home to live in, a family who you love and who loves and supports you, and food to eat. That person you passed on the corner has a sign that says "anything helps" and yet you drive past without a second glance (or even a first one for many) because you are better than them. You've worked hard for what you have and you don't want to give it up. But you never know. Maybe that person worked hard for what they had and then lost it all. It does happen. Sometimes, it happens that poor people are poor because they aren't willing to work or whatever, but sometimes it happens because they were dealt a harder hand in life than others were. Equality, true equality, would mean that you share everything with everyone. Doctors, celebrities, professional athletes, farmers, educators, janitors, service men/women, and those in the food service industry would be paid the same per hour because even though their work is different, they all work hard at what they do. And people don't want that.
Stop crying "equality" if you don't really want "equality." You think you are superior to me because you have a higher education than me and make more money than my husband and I and our 3 jobs put together. You think we are religious nuts which makes us uneducated (even though we both have BS degrees) because we hold to our religious traditions and values even when we believe you have the right to worship your god (no matter what form it comes in-money, prestige, deity-, or no god for that matter) and don't think you are crazy for it. And because you think you are superior to me, you will NEVER see us as equals. Equality? I say "BS!"
Thursday, April 4, 2013
follow up: a new leaf
I feel like the majority of people who have read my blog got the wrong
impression, and I know that is entirely my fault...I'm not very good
with words or with communicating how I feel. I basically wrote it so
that I could help figure out what I need to do to change that impulse I
have of automatically going to the place where I feel the need to
compare myself to others. I mean, it is easy to say "don't do that" but
when it is something that is almost as "natural" as breathing in my
life, I need to change something so that it isn't. So I thought of what
might need to change. And maybe I am completely wrong in my
conclusions. My reasons for posting it was to get suggestions for ways
to change/support with my personal conclusions. I wasn't writing it to
say that I am in deep depression. I wasn't writing it for sympathy. I
just found an area in my life that needs improvement and wanted to get
some feedback/help about how to improve.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
a new leaf
I haven't written in a super long time. I am not much of a writer. Things just don't seem to come to me very easily...at least not things I think very many people would be too interested in reading.
But I'm writing this for myself today. And if anyone who may read this decides to give me advice, encouragement, help/tips, or support in any way, it will be greatly reflected upon and appreciated. But this is for me. It is my choice. I am doing this for me.
I was feeling down, and I realized it is because I spend too much time comparing myself to others. If something good happens for another person, that is the first place I immediately go instead of just being happy for them. I don't think I have a problem comparing myself to celebrities - for some reason, it has clicked in my mind that most static images (and a lot of moving pictures, too) have been "fixed" so that the celebrity looks flawless. But, I do compare myself to people I know far too often. I noticed most of all that I compare myself to people that I don't get along with best, thinking something like I do that so much better than they do or Why do they have that? They don't deserve that break. I used to pride myself on never thinking I was better than anyone else. I had friends in any/all circles in high school and at the beginning of college. So what had changed?
After a little bit of reflection, I realized it was because I have lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore aside from my duties as a wife/mother. I hardly do things for myself anymore because I am so focused on my family. Doing things for my family, especially caring for my children, brings me a ton of happiness...don't get me wrong. But slowly, without doing things for myself, I have become a person who lacks confidence, self esteem, and falls into a (shallow) depression/pity parties more often than I'd like. And worse of all, I compare myself to others, often thinking that for some reason, I am superior or inferior.
So how do I change? How can I change my way of thinking? Obviously, I need to spend time focusing on the copious amounts of blessings and opportunities that I have been given. And I need to spend time for me. I need to look at my life and ask myself Who am I? I know what I have enjoyed in the past, so I might revisit some of those old venues-playing music, vairous sports... But I know that I have changed and grown as a person, too, so I think I am going to try some "new" things that I've always wanted to try or have given a very brief shot at - dancing, painting/drawing, exercise/running...
This is all in the hopes that I can go back to being the happy person that I used to be a love.
On a more positive note...Today, I have officially reached my first (of many) weight loss goals after having my son just over 10 weeks ago! I am officially at my pre-baby boy weight!!! I have a long way to go to reach my ultimate goal, but I am trying to focus more on these smaller goals that I have set so that I don't get discouraged too easily.
All for now!
Karena
But I'm writing this for myself today. And if anyone who may read this decides to give me advice, encouragement, help/tips, or support in any way, it will be greatly reflected upon and appreciated. But this is for me. It is my choice. I am doing this for me.
I was feeling down, and I realized it is because I spend too much time comparing myself to others. If something good happens for another person, that is the first place I immediately go instead of just being happy for them. I don't think I have a problem comparing myself to celebrities - for some reason, it has clicked in my mind that most static images (and a lot of moving pictures, too) have been "fixed" so that the celebrity looks flawless. But, I do compare myself to people I know far too often. I noticed most of all that I compare myself to people that I don't get along with best, thinking something like I do that so much better than they do or Why do they have that? They don't deserve that break. I used to pride myself on never thinking I was better than anyone else. I had friends in any/all circles in high school and at the beginning of college. So what had changed?
After a little bit of reflection, I realized it was because I have lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore aside from my duties as a wife/mother. I hardly do things for myself anymore because I am so focused on my family. Doing things for my family, especially caring for my children, brings me a ton of happiness...don't get me wrong. But slowly, without doing things for myself, I have become a person who lacks confidence, self esteem, and falls into a (shallow) depression/pity parties more often than I'd like. And worse of all, I compare myself to others, often thinking that for some reason, I am superior or inferior.
So how do I change? How can I change my way of thinking? Obviously, I need to spend time focusing on the copious amounts of blessings and opportunities that I have been given. And I need to spend time for me. I need to look at my life and ask myself Who am I? I know what I have enjoyed in the past, so I might revisit some of those old venues-playing music, vairous sports... But I know that I have changed and grown as a person, too, so I think I am going to try some "new" things that I've always wanted to try or have given a very brief shot at - dancing, painting/drawing, exercise/running...
This is all in the hopes that I can go back to being the happy person that I used to be a love.
On a more positive note...Today, I have officially reached my first (of many) weight loss goals after having my son just over 10 weeks ago! I am officially at my pre-baby boy weight!!! I have a long way to go to reach my ultimate goal, but I am trying to focus more on these smaller goals that I have set so that I don't get discouraged too easily.
All for now!
Karena
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
baby's room
This is something I have been wanting to post on here for some time now. I haven't gotten around to it because the room is still missing the vinyl quotes from the Dr. Seuss books. (Steve's mom has a vinyl machine to make them for us, but her machine is not working right with her new computer and Windows 7.) But, anyway, here is the baby's room. We completed it probably back in July...maybe August.
"Oh, the places you'll go!" and "A person's a person, no matter how small!"
The post is supposed to have the family member's names, starting with Daddy, Mommy, and then Jean.
We might put a quote on this wall...not sure
The brick wall, left unpainted but covered with the colorful dresser and armoire.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
talents in the making...?
So my sister, Emily, came up with a topic to blog about for those of us who feel like we don't have enough to talk about on our own because our lives are uninteresting. This one is about hobbies/talents that you would like to develop. In January, I decided I wanted to start gardening, and in order to have some success, I thought it would be easiest if I did "square foot" gardening. I made my own garden box, with Steve's help, and I planted a few things: some butternut lettuce (or something), green bell peppers, tomatoes, broccoli, and something else that I can't remember. Well, at first, it was successful. We enjoyed some of lettuce for sandwiches and burgers and such, but we planted too much lettuce to eat before it grew and mutated into weird lettuce-y christmas trees. Then, temperatures got too hot outside for any of the other plants to continue growing, so they all died. I'm going to try planting some more things in the fall maybe...
Another hobby/pair of hobbies I've been working on more recently is painting and sewing. Since we're expecting a little bundle of joy soon, we've had fun designing and painting the baby's room. We did a really cool Dr. Seuss mural that covers 3 walls and painted a dresser and an arimoire. I couldn't find any reasonably priced Dr. Seuss fabric or a Dr. Seuss bedding set, so we bought some patterns and colorful fabric. So far, I have the curtins completed. They didn't turn out the best, but they will do. I also have the baby blanket ready to be assembled (stuffed, tied, and sewn together around the edges), but I am going to have my mom help me with that because I've never done the edges around a blanket before. I intend on making a crib skirt, bumper pads (which I'll probably need mom's help with, too), and a sheet or two to match...I just haven't gotten that far yet. Once the room is completed and put together, I intend on putting up pictures. Hopefully, I will be done this month since school is starting up again.
So, sewing, painting, and gardening are talents that I would like to develop.
Steve continues to enjoy hobbies of building and tinkering around with cars. He has a "project car," an International truck (the year escapes me at the moment) that he's about done with. It's not perfect, but he says he's learned a lot about filling in rust, and he always enjoys painting cars. Now, he just needs to sell it for more than he bought it, and it will all be good! This summer, he's also built a shed. It's almost finished now-it just needs some bird blocking and a triangle of siding from the wall to the pitch of the roof. It's just been too hot outside to work on recently. Plus, his jobs keep him busy.
Things he plans on working on in the future are a 1971 Chevy Impala, which will be my toy car. (Steve has his Suzuki Samurai's at his parent's house and a big old Chevy pickup truck here, so I think I deserve a toy of my own. Besides, it was free!...except whatever work needs to go into it which hopefully shouldn't be much more than cosmetics.) He also intends on building a cradle, but we don't have all the wood working tools that he may need for that. He hopes he can use stuff from his high school, but if it doesn't work out/turn out, there's the cradle that gets passed around waiting for us to use at mom's house.
He's really talented! He always keeps busy with his projects! So, that's us-Steve with his hobbies/talents, and me with my...aspirations.
Another hobby/pair of hobbies I've been working on more recently is painting and sewing. Since we're expecting a little bundle of joy soon, we've had fun designing and painting the baby's room. We did a really cool Dr. Seuss mural that covers 3 walls and painted a dresser and an arimoire. I couldn't find any reasonably priced Dr. Seuss fabric or a Dr. Seuss bedding set, so we bought some patterns and colorful fabric. So far, I have the curtins completed. They didn't turn out the best, but they will do. I also have the baby blanket ready to be assembled (stuffed, tied, and sewn together around the edges), but I am going to have my mom help me with that because I've never done the edges around a blanket before. I intend on making a crib skirt, bumper pads (which I'll probably need mom's help with, too), and a sheet or two to match...I just haven't gotten that far yet. Once the room is completed and put together, I intend on putting up pictures. Hopefully, I will be done this month since school is starting up again.
So, sewing, painting, and gardening are talents that I would like to develop.
Steve continues to enjoy hobbies of building and tinkering around with cars. He has a "project car," an International truck (the year escapes me at the moment) that he's about done with. It's not perfect, but he says he's learned a lot about filling in rust, and he always enjoys painting cars. Now, he just needs to sell it for more than he bought it, and it will all be good! This summer, he's also built a shed. It's almost finished now-it just needs some bird blocking and a triangle of siding from the wall to the pitch of the roof. It's just been too hot outside to work on recently. Plus, his jobs keep him busy.
Things he plans on working on in the future are a 1971 Chevy Impala, which will be my toy car. (Steve has his Suzuki Samurai's at his parent's house and a big old Chevy pickup truck here, so I think I deserve a toy of my own. Besides, it was free!...except whatever work needs to go into it which hopefully shouldn't be much more than cosmetics.) He also intends on building a cradle, but we don't have all the wood working tools that he may need for that. He hopes he can use stuff from his high school, but if it doesn't work out/turn out, there's the cradle that gets passed around waiting for us to use at mom's house.
He's really talented! He always keeps busy with his projects! So, that's us-Steve with his hobbies/talents, and me with my...aspirations.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
long time no see!
ok. so it's been far too long since my last blog. i've been inspired by my lovely niece that i should share my "adventures" with those who love me. although there is new news, which anyone who reads this is probably well aware of my "new" news at the moment--the fact that i am just about 27 weeks pregnant, i thought i should probably write something on here...what to write what to write...
i've thought about you, blog, on several occasions. i wanted to write about our fears and struggles with getting pregnant, the weight loss adventures that the dr. said would probabl fix those problems, our excitement at finding out that i was pregnant, the fears that arose (and have been put to rest) slightly after finding out, etc. etc. one blog i have been thinking over and over about is writting a letter to my unborn child, telling her just how excited we are and letting her know just how much she is and will always be loved. i just can't bring myself to do it--not only because i'm a pretty big bawl baby at this point when it comes to talking about babies, but because i don't know if i can put into words just exactly what i feel, and i don't want any future kids to hear of this letter and think that we have a "favorite" child. i think i could write letters to all of my children to ease this worry that i have, but at the same time, i don't know how my children will feel...so i've just put it off and put it off...
i've been talking with my niece about cooking, since her latest blog is about a lovely misfortune she had with her baking today. i enjoy eating, and i try to enjoy cooking. every time i try to make something new, it seems like my hopes for it are far greater than the actual results. i usually burn baked goods, and other dishes don't seem to have as full a flavor as i'd like, so i tend to rely on steve's cooking or pre-packaged things. i should be more adventurous, i suppose.
she also helped me to realize that maybe i don't look at the "mundane" tasks in my life with the right attitude. maybe i do encounter more adventures in my daily life than i think. i just need to see the humor and/or excitement in the situation a little better.
i'm at work right now. i enjoy my job when it keeps me busy and working with people. right now, i'm here at the office alone. my boss and his wife went out for lunch, and unfortunately, the only thing i have to work on is something that he needs to be here for. he didn't give me any instruction or assignment before he left, and i've exhausted my brain cells doing random little things and trying to think of something else i can do. i may just give him a call, though i hate to interrupt their "date" time. his wife is a lovely lady, and she really deserves to have some alone time with him since he is kept so busy with his job here and his other jobs/hobbies. i may just leave, as i usually do at noon, but i think he is expecting me to stay late to help him with this next assignment.
anyway, i feel like i've rambled on long enough now about my random nothingness, which is why it's been such a long time no see situation for me. i'd try to say something to make a comittment to you, blog, like "i will write at least once a week from now on," but i believe i've done that already, and that hasn't really worked out for me. so, i'll just say, don't lose hope in me! i do think about you, and i do enjoy reading the blogs of others, so i'll keep visiting you! but for now, farewell, until i feel again inspired to share my monotany.
i've thought about you, blog, on several occasions. i wanted to write about our fears and struggles with getting pregnant, the weight loss adventures that the dr. said would probabl fix those problems, our excitement at finding out that i was pregnant, the fears that arose (and have been put to rest) slightly after finding out, etc. etc. one blog i have been thinking over and over about is writting a letter to my unborn child, telling her just how excited we are and letting her know just how much she is and will always be loved. i just can't bring myself to do it--not only because i'm a pretty big bawl baby at this point when it comes to talking about babies, but because i don't know if i can put into words just exactly what i feel, and i don't want any future kids to hear of this letter and think that we have a "favorite" child. i think i could write letters to all of my children to ease this worry that i have, but at the same time, i don't know how my children will feel...so i've just put it off and put it off...
i've been talking with my niece about cooking, since her latest blog is about a lovely misfortune she had with her baking today. i enjoy eating, and i try to enjoy cooking. every time i try to make something new, it seems like my hopes for it are far greater than the actual results. i usually burn baked goods, and other dishes don't seem to have as full a flavor as i'd like, so i tend to rely on steve's cooking or pre-packaged things. i should be more adventurous, i suppose.
she also helped me to realize that maybe i don't look at the "mundane" tasks in my life with the right attitude. maybe i do encounter more adventures in my daily life than i think. i just need to see the humor and/or excitement in the situation a little better.
i'm at work right now. i enjoy my job when it keeps me busy and working with people. right now, i'm here at the office alone. my boss and his wife went out for lunch, and unfortunately, the only thing i have to work on is something that he needs to be here for. he didn't give me any instruction or assignment before he left, and i've exhausted my brain cells doing random little things and trying to think of something else i can do. i may just give him a call, though i hate to interrupt their "date" time. his wife is a lovely lady, and she really deserves to have some alone time with him since he is kept so busy with his job here and his other jobs/hobbies. i may just leave, as i usually do at noon, but i think he is expecting me to stay late to help him with this next assignment.
anyway, i feel like i've rambled on long enough now about my random nothingness, which is why it's been such a long time no see situation for me. i'd try to say something to make a comittment to you, blog, like "i will write at least once a week from now on," but i believe i've done that already, and that hasn't really worked out for me. so, i'll just say, don't lose hope in me! i do think about you, and i do enjoy reading the blogs of others, so i'll keep visiting you! but for now, farewell, until i feel again inspired to share my monotany.
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