a new leaf

I haven't written in a super long time. I am not much of a writer. Things just don't seem to come to me very easily...at least not things I think very many people would be too interested in reading.
But I'm writing this for myself today. And if anyone who may read this decides to give me advice, encouragement, help/tips, or support in any way, it will be greatly reflected upon and appreciated. But this is for me. It is my choice. I am doing this for me.
I was feeling down, and I realized it is because I spend too much time comparing myself to others.  If something good happens for another person,  that is the first place I immediately go instead of just being happy for them.  I don't think I have a problem comparing myself to celebrities - for some reason, it has clicked in my mind that most static images (and a lot of moving pictures, too) have been "fixed" so that the celebrity looks flawless.  But, I do compare myself to people I know far too often.  I noticed most of all that I compare myself to people that I don't get along with best, thinking something like I do that so much better than they do or Why do they have that? They don't deserve that break.  I used to pride myself on never thinking I was better than anyone else.  I had friends in any/all circles in high school and at the beginning of college.  So what had changed?
After a little bit of reflection, I realized it was because I have lost myself.  I don't know who I am anymore aside from my duties as a wife/mother.  I hardly do things for myself anymore because I am so focused on my family.  Doing things for my family, especially caring for my children, brings me a ton of happiness...don't get me wrong.  But slowly, without doing things for myself, I have become a person who lacks confidence, self esteem, and falls into a (shallow) depression/pity parties more often than I'd like.  And worse of all, I compare myself to others, often thinking that for some reason, I am superior or inferior. 
So how do I change?  How can I change my way of thinking?  Obviously, I need to spend time focusing on the copious amounts of blessings and opportunities that I have been given.  And I need to spend time for me.  I need to look at my life and ask myself Who am I?  I know what I have enjoyed in the past, so I might revisit some of those old venues-playing music, vairous sports...  But I know that I have changed and grown as a person, too, so I think I am going to try some "new" things that I've always wanted to try or have given a very brief shot at - dancing, painting/drawing, exercise/running...
This is all in the hopes that I can go back to being the happy person that I used to be a love. 

On a more positive note...Today, I have officially reached my first (of many) weight loss goals after having my son just over 10 weeks ago!  I am officially at my pre-baby boy weight!!!  I have a long way to go to reach my ultimate goal, but I am trying to focus more on these smaller goals that I have set so that I don't get discouraged too easily.
All for now!
Karena